i was going to name this post ‘what girls want’ and then i realized that list would be wayyyy too long to even try to make. it would include things like zero calorie anything, everyone to accept leggings as pants, endless supply of wine, and free subscriptions to cosmo. so i renamed it. this is what i want the most from my boyfriend… sometimes he can be kind of clueless…. like tonight. which is why i’m writing this post.
- to be listened to.
seriously. girls want someone that can logically respond to what she’s saying. ‘yeah,’ ‘un-huh,’ ‘okay,’ etc, DON’T count. i want you to ADD to the conversation. and, you know what would just be absolutely crazy…. if you STARTED it! ask me what i did today, ask me what i’m doing tomorrow… and do it BEFORE i ask you. it’s not the same if i ask first, then you ask just because then it’s just small talk. which leads me to my next point.
- to be cared about.
and not just SAY you care. SHOW it. in my world, actions ALWAYS speak louder. remember ONE little thing about me…. whether it’s my schedule on monday, the thing i do that means i’m sad, what i said i had to do tomorrow, the kind wine i like to drink, the look on my face that says i need you to hold me… honestly, just ONE little thing. i don’t need you to remember EVERY little thing about me…. just one. but you should WANT to know more. rub my back when i’ve had a long day. (yeah, you’re not the only one who has those)
- someone else to take initiative
tell me to be ready at 6, you’ll pick me up… you have plans for us, you made reservations. it’s literally the sweetest thing. it doesn’t even have to be an extravagant date… it could be a picnic or a walk in the park. you don’t have to spend money to make me happy. it goes HAND IN HAND with showing you care. show me you want to be with me, let me know you think i deserve to be treated well. (i know that i deserve it, but i also take into consideration that you have a busy schedule… but that’s what weekends are for) you always seem to have time to play video games or drink beer with your friends… but you don’t have time to spend with me? (and NO, me watching you play video games does NOT count as quality time.
- touch me.
(no, i don’t mean my boobs) put your hand on my back. pull me close and kiss my cheek. hold my hand. play with my hair. put both hands on my face and just look at me. put your arm around me. let me walk arm-in-arm with you down the street. just hug me. randomly, not just when we’re saying goodbye, or when we’re watching a movie. do it when i’m not expecting it. do it when i’m being unnaturally quiet, because that’s probably when i need it most.
- notice when i’m not myself.
realize when i just need you to be there. when i need you to tell me it’s going to be okay.
- quality time.
this really goes without explaining. take a few hours to talk to me, find out how my week was. ask me if i’m stressed out, come over to MY place. just be with me. not me and your buddies while you play video games.
- realize that i am pretty introverted.
you are probably an extrovert. you’re the life of the party, i like to watch and observe. that doesn’t mean i don’t like to have a good time… but i unwind differently than you. i like to do nothing with you on the couch with a glass of wine. you like to play loud xbox games and yell at the tv with your friends.
- know what it takes to calm me down.
i worry a lot. i stress myself out. i also hide it pretty well. know that really all i need is a reassuring look and a hug. tell me that it always works out for the best. tell me that i’m smart and i know what i’m doing and i’ll keep it together. reassurance is key.
- when i walk away or out the door, it should tug at your heart strings, you should miss me a little bit.
- i’m probably missing something.. but this is what i have tonight.
i say all of this, and i know it probably sounds like a lot… but i say that i want these things because i know that i do them for you. i ALWAYS ask how your day is, i WANT to know what you’re doing tomorrow. i know what you like to dip your pizza in, i know what shirt you want to wear when you’re hungover, i could order a subway sandwich for you (without a list). i know what days you work early during the week. i constantly want to be in physical contact with you. i want to hold your hand and put my head on your chest, because i want you to know that i care, that i’m always thinking about you; (but when it isn’t reciprocated… it hurts my feelings) i know that you need to play video games or get drunk to relax/re-energize after a long week and i do my best to do those things with you. when you leave, i miss you before you walk out the door… and not in the creepy way, but because i love you.
the most meaningful thing a guy can do for a girl, is reciprocate. take note of the things i do for you, and at least make an attempt to do something that makes me feel the way you feel when i bring snacks to the library for you, or when i go out of my way to try and see you during my busiest days, or when i decide to stay over at your place. make me feel like you want me to be the one next to you, that you want me to yourself, that you want to show me off. (there’s three more things that girls want from guys).
and with my third glass of wine, i’m done.